Every parent knows the moment they find out the gender of their child – whether it be during an ultrasound or at birth – is a monumental occasion. We spend months wondering what’s baking inside that tummy. We’ll take guesses or develop hunches. Lots of time is spent making one set of plans if it’s a boy and another one if it’s a girl. Most of us come up with a list of names for each possibility. It’s a period full of eager anticipation.
When that time finally comes…when you receive the news…it’s huge. After all, it impacts the rest of your life! Well, that moment happened for us last Friday…
So, without further ado, I’m proud to announce we will be welcoming a baby girl about 4.5 months from now!!
Being a Father to a Little Girl
This little guy is going to be a big brother!
Many of you might get a chuckle out of this, but I’m not quite sure how to be a father to a little girl. I’ve never been around any in my entire life. There were no girls in my immediate or extended family. My family relocated often when I was growing up (as most military families do) and I never had any close friends that were girls. Even as an adult, I’ve just never been around little girls for anything more than social gatherings with friends who have daughters.
I’m not scared, nervous, or anxious. Rather, I feel at a loss as to how I’ll relate to her once she leaves baby stage and gets older. I mean, I know little boys. I was one. I had a little brother. I’ve got a 1.5 year-old boy right now. I know the mind of a little boy. I know how rough and tumble they are, how they think, and what gets them excited. But when it comes to little girls…? And, sure, I’m fully aware figuring out how to be a father to a little girl and knowing how to relate to her just comes naturally over time. But, right now, the thought is a bit daunting.
There Goes Our Savings!
Who in their right mind would have two (or more) kids these days?! Long gone are the days when kids were assets. We, as parents, can’t put them to work on the farm or send them to the factory to make money. Nope from day 1 until whenever you finally severe the financial ties – kids are a money sucking black hole!
I’ve crunched the numbers and it doesn’t look pretty. When my wife returns to work after maternity leave and our daughter starts daycare (which will probably be at 3-4 months old), we’ll be breaking even each month cash flow wise 🙁 Daycare is ridiculously expensive. The good news is I’ll still be able to contribute to retirement savings by fully funding my 401(k). After that, though, we’ll probably have a few hundred dollars left over during the good months which makes it extremely tough when you’re trying to save for a down payment on a home purchase. I think we might need to start seriously considering a relocation to improve our financial situation!
Anyone have any advice or words of encouragement about raising a girl? Have you struggled with wanting a kid (or additional ones) but knowing it could impede your financial goals (such as retirement) because it’s so costly to raise one?